I need a new dream.

What with all that ranting and raving in the previous post I feel that it was an exercise in futility. Honestly, nobody cares and neither should I get all worked up. All this talk about change, progress, vision, making the world a beautiful place, standing up for what you believe in, ideals, principles, values are all bullshit. Total bullshit because guess what, nobody does quite care. My soul be damned if I were to think of bringing about in change in Law school or much less in the world. I should be condemned to eternal damnation for thinking that my thoughts, actions can change or influence someone else’s life or that it is a sytem of mutual reciprocity. The stupid ideal of respecting other human beings or teachers per se just doesn’t exist when you’re actually berated for it and thought to be an “ass-licker” when such thoughts do not actually exist in one’s own head.

All else said, I love the fact that I am in Law school. Truly I am. Now only if Donald Trump or Bill Gates were my Uncle, life would be perfect. My meeting and long term association with a really good friend of mine highlighted the wide disparities between life here and my life in Law school. Ironically, I never did actually understand the magnanimity of communication gaps or time warps but I do now.  An extremely sad realization to make right now or rather it was something that I always knew of but refused to acknowledge, the wedge that just gets or got deeper. She was right, it is stupid to live in the past and in no certain terms, that I need to get a life. I do. Lord knows that I do. From my side, a toast to what was and to the future. A good-bye in not so many words.

Left with a lot of work, I realise now with all the staleness and forgettable relationships that I need a new dream, a new beginning, a new sunshine, a new day.

Human beings are not programmed. I am.


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