Change. Everybody wants it then what is the issue with accepting it. Why do I find it so difficult to accept change. I guess, I am addicted to this constant sort of life, this consistency where each day is like the previous one and is nothing spectacular, this plateauing, this linear line, this predictability, this straight line. I like it this way, this predictability, this certainty and like every normal human, extremely wary of the new or unknown elements, extremely scared to try something new. Why. I figure that when I am put through some new experience, I can’t figure how I’ll react or don’t know how to behave, feel awkward and yes, I find it super difficult to adapt. By the time I get used to the place or to the people, it is time to leave. I just want someone to guide me through it, for Mom and Dad to be there again to hold my hand and just lead me through, to be introduced and not to introduce myself, to just go back in time when I was 10 and could shy away from all this. Why can’t there be a time turner. Why can’t I be open to change.
Also maybe because I am sick of trying hard and failing. I’d rather prefer constancy than a major high or low. I just want to go off some where for a holiday and not for some dull camp, a challenging course with an exam. Just some other place, some foreign land where I can just take a break.