“May the best man win.”
Bah. Who decides who is the best man, in the case, the best woman. Hello? “Woman”. Sigh. It is g-i-r-l. I believe I am way younger than the others on that list. I also believe I am quite the spunky and rebellious and nice and smart and sassy and nerdy and passionate and… just about everything that makes me an “interesting” person. Now, that is important. You HAVE to be interesting, otherwise life is just a sad waste of time. Another reason why I don’t talk to so many people here now. They bore me. After 3 full years of a lot of interaction, you actually get bored of people. Like what more do I tell you, what more can you tell me, what can we talk about. One of the things that I’m exposed to right now is the bi***chiness here. Everybody’s talking all the time, everybody knows. There is like this inner network of people who do just that. It is snaky, disgusting and downright sleazy. I mean, there actually exists this bunch of people who are transmitting information about other people and their lives. Lifeless, much? Don’t you have better things to do? And this network achieves its objective, of alienating people and passing baseless stuff about people. Do I care? No! I never did. Surprisingly, the few people I hang out with more seem to be on the fringes of this horrible network. Another reason why I need to get out from here, to breathe, to experience new things, to see new things, to feel new things. That adventurous feeling is wattered down by this place, by the mundane here, by the psycho thought processes, by this wastage of time here spent thinking of who said what. Why is everyone in each other’s life and why the hell do you bloody care. “What is going on between them?” Hell, why do you care? Have I ever given you the impression that I care about your life?
That’s the deal. I need to get out. I need London. I need crisp air. I need new people. I need new challenges. I need to go out. Hence, the internship. Please oh dear Lord, let me go. Please please please.
Any new thing that I can possibly think of experiencing here is negated by my own inactivity and the existence of this network. And I just actually don’t feel a damn thing anymore! Like nada, zilch, zero. I just don’t seem to care or feel and that is sad. I also don’t feel the pressure. I need to get out of this limbo.
I am so much more happier dreaming.