the bends
n. frustration that you’re not enjoying an experience as much as you should, even something you’ve worked for years to attain, which prompts you to plug in various thought combinations to try for anything more than static emotional blankness, as if your heart had been accidentally demagnetized by a surge of expectations.

Illustration: Law School plagues me the most horrible case of the bends.

n. the default expression that your face automatically reverts to when idle—amused, melancholic, pissed off—which occurs when a strong emotion gets buried and forgotten in the psychological laundry of everyday life, leaving you wearing an unintentional vibe of pink or blue or gray, or in rare cases, a tie-dye of sheer madness.

Illustration: Slipcasted, I wish I had never ever set foot in Law School.


adj. exhausted by politeness, which wraps gifts of honesty in ceremonial bows, fluffy gestures and paper-thin phrases that protect the recipient from figuring out how you really feel about trust, status, intimacy and their new mustache.

Illustration: All I am right now: goffish

All hail The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows.


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