Thought Catalog

1. You wake up and there’s about 7 or 8 minutes left before you have to get up. This is such BS and it feels as if the universe and your body joined forces to troll you at the crack of dawn. You have moments before the rooster crows, so you try to make the most of that little bit of time.

2. The alarm goes off and is basically the equivalent of having Judge Judy, Gilbert Gottfried, Fran Drescher, Samuel L. Jackson, and Nancy Grace leaning next to your head and, in unison, screaming “HELLO! WAKE UP MOTHERF-CKER!” in your ear, over and over and over and over and over again.

3. There’s drool everywhere. Like, a puddle large enough to make you Google if ShamWow makes absorbent pillows. (As of March 6th, 2013, 8:03 AM EST they still don’t – yes, I check every morning.)


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