The Brutally Honest Cover Letter You Wish You Could Send

Thought Catalog

Dear Dream Company,

Please hire me. No, really, it’ll be the best move you make all year. If you take a chance on a kid with huge dreams and crazy determination to make them come true, I will personally make you eggs and coffee every morning, chauffeur you to work, and give you shoulder rubs when you’ve been hunched over your computer for too long. My resume and a letter of recommendation are attached, but here’s what you really need to know.

I’ve spent the past four years interning at Companies X, Y, and Z, where I soaked up everything my intern ID card gave me access to: the daily rhythms and routines of each company, my boss’s favorite Kardashian (this is important, I swear), and which person in the office had the magic touch to fix the printer when it jammed. I can do research for your next big…

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