What is it about families and guilt-trips? Why can’t we just be like those liberated ‘live and let live’ kinds? Why can’t we just follow ‘to each his own’? Why is it so hard to let go and let each person achieve their end purpose, whatever that might be?
I have escaped my family for 6 years now and haven’t been able to for the past 8 months – all because I am in a city which has fans (among my family members).
@ God: Next time, please pick a neutral south Indian city which doesn’t have that many takers among my family. How about Hyderabad, huh? I need you to cut me some slack.
And what is with family and money issues?
Sometimes, I dream, rather think that things would’ve been so different if I was born in an uber rich family, the kinds with maids at their disposal 24*7. Clearly, a useless and futile thought.
To happier things, a Reiki session ended up in quite many revelations which both shocked and surprised me but also strangely, they were comforting ones. (I am consciously trying to not conclude sentences with prepositions or words like ‘me’. I figured that if I try hard, I can work on anything.) I never knew that a Reiki session could reveal things about a person. My understanding was that it entailed transferring positive energy from one person to another but clearly, it is not just about pilfering energy. (This also proves that unless you’ve actually experienced something for yourself, you can’t conclude on it. I had this friend in college who used this very argument to illustrate, rather justify, his need for smoking and alcohol. While I pursued my health argument obstinately and topped it with a “there are better things to do in life”, I couldn’t quite trump this particular line of reasoning though health trumps all. However, if someone were doing it ,to say, kill time (I can’t quite recall the exact word.) then yes, you can’t conclude that is a waste of time unless you experience the highs…or something like that. Point being, I was proud, still proud of being a teetotaler and I relish the thought of being a stubborn ass then and now, though to a lesser extent now.) My healer figured about certain things about me but most importantly, she found it necessary to tell me that I was sweet, innocent and had a good heart. That might seem like a braggado exercise on one’s own blog but the thought is uplifting and I want to preserve it for posterity (Not Sonam Kapoor style: http://www.storypick.com/7-things-can-learn-sonam-kapoors-interview-koffee-karan/). So, years later, when I am up to evil things like say, defending criminals, I can look back at this post and feel happy. I think it is important that I preserve bits and pieces of myself to see how much I’ve evolved – to put it in the nicest way possible.
Speaking of which, I just realised that I’ve changed in the biggest way possible. This was a done deal and to find out that the status quo has been uprooted shocks me to my core. To cut to the chase and though the drama (though I love drama!), summer was my favourite season. Okay, not favourite but I tolerated it and sometimes loved it to the point that I’d walk around in the sun and not sweat. Maybe, it was the only season I knew or I didn’t count rain as a season but anyway, I no longer love summers. They are hot, sweaty and I absolutely hate the sun warming my scalp. Add to that, I have thin hair which makes it easier for the sun to penetrate through the scalp. I am no longer a summer person unless it is mild summer. I now crave winters. Yes, ladies and gentleman, after crying about the cold and freezing to death (though I used 2 heaters), I love winters. Okay wait, not the Delhi winters come to think of it but sometimes, it was beautiful. Absolutely breath-taking. I remember this one time when I had had a scalding hot water bath and was dressed in thermals and lots of layers waiting for the train and looking up at the sky… The air was cold, fresh and everything, was beautiful. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that moment. (Life lesson #898989: Never say ‘never’ or ‘ever’ – things might just turn around like you never knew it.) Since I can’t have winter or snow – yes, I want to see the snow (I am under the influence of Lorelai Gilmore so please understand.) I am now looking forward to the first rain of the season. I am waiting for that earthy smell of rain and for those tremendous showers which will wash the world and make everything whole, clean and beautiful. I love rains! Somehow, life – job, career, work has the tendency to kill the beauty that is nature. I am sure any sane person would appreciate a good heavy downpour and would love to dance around in the rain but we now have jobs and have to act like responsible adults in a quest for money. (Hell, gold would be something to quest for, not some pieces of paper with a man’s face on them.) Yesterday, after another tiring journey through the bustling city and after yet another ‘finalising the rental house’ routine, I looked up at the sky while waiting for the bus and suddenly, everything seemed beautiful. It was that deep shade of blue ink which had a large and very round moon. That is the cure. Whenever you’re overwhelmed by life and just plain tired, look up. There has to be divine power above who has made everything so beautiful and perfect. Look up with gratitude and wonder and everything around you will just seem bearable. Another way to look at it is the fact that evenings lead to nights which means end of the day. (My day in my ex-job still wouldn’t end which is why I quit – you can’t go against the laws of nature!) Another thing my healer mentioned was that I need to constantly get in touch with nature – grass, mountains and water. She couldn’t be more right. So yes, look up, wonder and then you’ll be less prone to wanting to smack the people crawling around you like ants. There are just way too many people in this city.
Life clearly is about sucking it up and making lemon juice. I, for one, would like to have a bit of it all. Let’s add a dash of tequila, please.
I really like my sense of humour.
p.s: “to say, kill time (I can’t quite recall the exact word.) then yes, you can’t…” – For recreational purposes! Yes! I knew I knew the word!